June 4 thru 7, 2005
I consider myself somewhat intelligent but I have been known to do some pretty boneheaded things as described in these postings. I am about to tell you about one more of these times.

I went to Philadelphia with a girlfriend who was here from England, I wanted to show her a good time and whatever night life the City of Brotherly Love had to offer. What I got was an experience I would like to soon forget. Subsequently sometime during that visit to Philly I was detained by the Philadelphia Police on an old bench warrant.. I will begin my story from after the 12 hours or so I was at the Police District. We left the Police district headed towards CFCF detention center. There were three of us, initially it was just me and another fellow but we stopped at a hospital and picked up an individual from the hospitals psychiatric unit. The ride in itself would have been a short one but the Police officers stopped at a convenience store and (I guess) picked up some snacks or cigarettes for themselves. I don’t know if this was in compliance with transport procedure but who’s in a rush to go to prison?

When we got to the prison we swung around the back to face two enormous steel grey garage doors. One Officer got out, made contact with those within and one of the doors slowly began to rise. Once inside we were led through a steel door into a very sterile looking area. Everything was the color of concrete or a bluish white. In one side of the room there was an enclosed glass area with a female corrections officer. Her enclosure was not unlike those enclosures in gasoline stations where cash payments are made at night. We were instructed by two male Corrections Officers to line up and remove all personal belongings from our person and to hand them over to the Female officer behind the glass. We also took off our shoes and had them searched. Soon after wards, two inmates dressed in blue showed up to pass out what was referred to as “Cold Paks”. These Paks consisted of four slices of either white or wheat bread, two slices of a meat that looked like a cross between ham and bologna, two slices of yellow cheese and one slightly rotten apple. To drink we were given a small carton of Ice tea. There we waited for other detainees to be brought in from other Police stations. Once every body was searched and given food we were moved through another steel door to a very large “L” shaped area.

The long side of the “L” was lined on both sides with cells varying from approx 12 x 14 feet to other somewhat smaller cells. The cells had tempered glass windows on both sides of the metal door which sported a vertical rectangular slat of glass in the middle. On the lower part of the “L” , one side had holding cells while directly across those cells the showers (3 of them) were located. The “L” ended into what I gathered to be the nurse’s station. All the cells had two metal benches opposite each other for sitting and a toilet and sink separated by a 3 foot privacy wall at the far end. The larger of the cells could comfortably hold maybe 8 to 10 men.
Up until this point the guards were stoic and “to the point” which was all right by me since I had enough things to try to work out, such as bail and correcting the bench warrant that was in part to blame for my being there.

We were put into a cell and left there to wait. After a while, more detainees were put in our cell, bringing the number of people in the cell to 21. This amount of men in that particular cell made it hard to breathe and raised the temperature considerably. My cell mates were of all colors and crimes, there were guys in there with charges that ranged from simple possession of drugs to murder in the first degree. Since everyone is innocent until proven guilty, here we all were in the same cell getting ready to suffer our little ordeal together.

Before I go any further I will now take time to introduce our players in this sick little story. I will be calling them by the names given them by my fellow cell mates, but if I had to point them out to the authorities I would gladly do so. Lets start with female corrections officer “I’m-so-fine”, she was dubbed this because of how she continuously flirted with a Sargent there. The origins of the rest of the names I will not go into because they are self explanatory. There was Major Barney Rubble, Sargent ShineMyBoots, Officer MonkeyMan, Officer Thuglife, Officer Weirdlook, Officer I’ma Mason and pair of Officers known as the “Stupid Brother’s”

I will start describing these incidents in chronological order. I can not really state what time they happened in because of the absence of clocks in that area and the refusal of guards to tell us what time it was. We watched as other inmates were brought in and put into two other cells. The number of inmates per cell ranged between 18 to 23. In our cell, we were forced to stand or sit. There was no sleeping room any where. We were subjected to this for what seemed hours. It was so hot and the air in there was so stale that some inmates removed thier shirts. Everybody was sweating profusely in what is an air conditioned facility. We started to yell to the guards to open the cell door and let in some fresh air for it got rank and extremely unbearable rather quickly. Here is where the games began.

Officer ThugLife came and opened the cell door only to have Officer MonkeyMan come by 5 minutes later (with a malicious grin) and violently shut the cell door in our faces. This caused quite a raucous and everybody started beating on the door yelling for the Officers to let us get some more air. After a couple of minutes Officer ThugLife showed up and pointed to a tall fellow and told him that he had made bail. The inmate started to smile and sat down to wait for his release. Hours passed and nothing happened. This fellow started to get impatient and started to yell for the guards. He banged on the door and kept on yelling “Hey! I made bail! Let me out so I can call my people! Officer I’ma Mason came and yelled at the inmate to “Shut the Fuck up or he was going to get his ass beat”, at this the inmate said “Fuck YOU! I made bail! Of course this was not true. Officer ThugLife was just playing games. So Officers I’ma Mason, Officer ThugLife and Officer MonkeyMan opened the cell and removed him , relieved him of his clothing and threw him naked into “Siberia” (the coldest cell there). They were trying to make a point. They were in control and they were the gods here. They were power thrusting and ego tripping. We all took the opportunity presented to us to gulp down as much fresh air as possible before Officer MonkeyMan came back and slammed the door on us. Hours passed and we tried to sleep as we jostled for the best position. We lost one of our cell mates to an asthma attack, one more detainee removed by the scruff of his neck. Tempers now started to flair and some of us managed to mediate and calm things down. The most annoying thing about all this is that we all could clearly see empty cells right across from us, there was no reason for us to be packed in this way. Sleep was hard to come by because the other inmates in the other cells who were suffering our same situation started to yell only to attract and elicit threats of violence from our keepers. They too lost one of thier numbers to an asthma attack. Now that tempers were at a maximum, they started changing us from cell to cell. We would be moved, would settle down, only to be moved again, why? No reason. We were all down in a cell at the end of the“L” when we heard a chorus of “Fuck you, fuck you, yoooou biaaatchs!!! These were the officers Stupid Brothers laughing and chanting this in unison (they did this throughout thier shift and thought it “oh, so very funny”). Some minutes passed and I asked to use the rest room and was let out, on my way back I saw Sargent ShinyBoots getting his boots shined by an inmate dressed in blue (one of the guards called the inmate a “dumbass” and said his boots were next, the inmate responded with a imbecilic grin) . Officers Stupid Brothers were leaning back on thier chairs, one was eating a Hoagie while the other was snoozing. Officer ThugLife was leaning on the counter talking to Officer I’m-so-Fine, I then informed both officers that I was wearing contacts and had poison ivy. I would like to see a nurse and possibly have these issues resolved (especially for my contacts, don’t want pink eye, do we?) Officer ThugLife looked at Officer I’m-so-Fine, smiled and said to me“Handle your business!” “Get back to your cell! At this time Officer Weirdlook appeared behind me and escorted me to my cell.

Of all the abuses of authority, threats and name calling experienced by me by far the most disturbing was the sight of an inmate who apparently sustained a gunshot wound to the thigh, sometime during his intake, he was left without a wheel chair. This inmate was observed by me crawling to the bathroom, dragging his body behind him while these Philadelphia Correction Officers just stood around, hands on hips, watching him, joking amongst themselves. “Fuck you, fuck you! You biaaaaatchs! (the Stupid brothers again)

We were pretty much resigned to our hopeless situation until we spied a white shirt (a ranking officer) coming our way.
It was Major Barney Rubble, all 4 feet of him. We started to yell,” Hey!, Please help us we can’t breathe in here, help us! He never veered from his course, he just gave us a “royal wave” and said “I will send someone,” needless to say no one ever came. Now came the time to take showers and receive that “traffic cone orange” jumpsuit. At the showers an inmate was made to take a shower after another inmate (who was bleeding from a wound received while attempting to elude Police custody) had left the showers bloody. We tried to communicate the dangers of AIDS but, we were ignored and told that the next shift would handle whatever problems we had.

The next shift! Everything would be taken care in the next shift! Seems like anything as simple as a spoon to eat with, would be handled by the next shift. Three of us were given linen and finally after a day and a half we were lead out of “Intake”. We were now headed to “Restriction” for the next 15 to 30 days before being let out in “population”.

We went through another steel door and lead along hallway that inclined upwards. The hallway ended onto an enclosed area that had a glass enclosed room in the middle. Around this room were steel doors (flanked by huge glass windows) that lead into large pods. This area was configured like a huge wheel with the hub being the glass enclosed room. The outer wedges were the pods were inmates were kept. Each pod would hold up to approximately 80 or 90 men. There were four pods. In each pod besides the inmates there were two Corrections Officers who would sit at the beginning of the wedge.

All the cells were at the outer edge of the wedge leaving the middle as open area (TV area). The cells held 2 to 3 men, some held 4 men. Prior to being taken to our pods we were handed bed linen, towels and a hygiene kit. We entered our pod and were directed to our cells. Once in my cell I started to make my cot. Lord knows after so many days without sleep I was ready. I unfolded my bed sheets only to see that they were blood splattered. The blood was still red and not that dark rust color that would indicate the stains to be old. I immediately left my cell and approached the two corrections officer at thier station. A female, male team. I showed them the sheets and asked for new ones. “We are about to end our shift.” “Talk to the next shift” I looked at them and stated the obvious. “Your shift does not end until 40 minutes from now” “Can I have replacement sheets, please?” The female officer looked at me and with emphasis said “I said our shift is overrr” Ask the next shift”. I decided to do as I was told, so I waited.

The next shift came on and as soon as they were settled I approached them with my bloody sheets. I explained to them my situation and they answered, “Why did you not take care of this with the last shift?” “It was thier job not ours.” “We can not do anything for you.” Humph! I just had about enough of my so-called “keepers”. Dinner was served and I was looking forward to a hot meal when I noticed that I had no cup, spoon or fork. I ask one of the inmates where I could get tableware and was told to see the officers. I again approached my jailers and asked for said items only to be told that the shift prior to thier was responsible for eating utensils and that I had to do the best I could.
I ate with my fingers.

Finally I made bail and was released. I was taken to the front to pick up whatever monies I had only to be disrespected one last time. All that were released that day were told to stand behind a yellow line while the female corrections officer (who by the way was a “shockingly blonde” heavyset woman with more gold jewelry on than Mr T himself.) Sorted out our monies, all the while calling us all kinds of “dumb motherfuckers”.

Hey, I know jail is jail, I did not expect “Club Med” but neither did I expect ineptness, extreme dereliction and to be disrespected, almost at every attempt of interaction I made with these so called professionals in uniform. When addressed I answer , “yes sir (Mam)”. Hey, I’m in jail, with much weight on my mind, do you think I need the added bullshit? So...forgive me if I’m wrong but, I expect that respect should be answered with respect.
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I remember months ago watching a disturbing surveillance clip from the Philadelphia Federal prison of a female officer being savagely beaten. I cringed and wondered how those inmates could do such a thing?
Sadly I now have an idea as to what could have initiated such action. Taking into account my short stay and the number of officers I observed as compared to the total, I would strongly suggest that someone look into the going ons in the Philly prison system.

The funny thing is that I have trained with correction officers in my past, these were officers who commanded respect with thier bearing not thier swagger and I know better. I know that the Penal System should try to seek a balance between reform and retribution, punishment and brutality, humanity and maximum security, definitely NOT the hooliganism and indifference practiced by those so called “Philadelphia Correction Officers” I came in contact with. Their goal should be to discharge “better” men, not “bitter” men